Have you ever witnessed a friend or neighbor distraught over the death of a pet? If you’ve never owned a pet or are thinking of owning one, are you surprised to see someone cry? In fact, such a response is just as natural as it is when a close friend or loved one dies.
Here’s what you should know about helping someone who is mourning the death of a pet because there is significant grief that can last for long periods of time.
1. As in the case of the death of a friend or family member (and most animals are considered part of the family), grief is expected because of the degree of emotional investment in the subject of the loss. Emotional investment means caring and caring; It is love at its core. Only the blacksmith knows the depth of this investment. Sometimes the grief of a pet is more intense than the grief associated with the death of a loved one.
2. Give permission to show emotion through something you say or do. Hug the person and say, “This must be hurting deeply” or “I’m sorry to hear that.” Use the pet’s name when you can. Find out how close the pet’s relationship is with the mourner, and encourage them to talk about the illness or what led to the death.
3. The service is provided in some way. Bring food home, if appropriate. Go with the owner to the pet cemetery. Provide transportation. Just showing that you are aware of the impact of death will be of great help to your friend.
4. Review the relationship between the person and the pet in a gentle, caring way. Ask questions about how long the pet has been in the family and where it came from. Encourage storytelling that includes what the pet did or didn’t do. All of this will give you a better idea of ​​what loss means to a person.
5. Grief over the death of a beloved animal is as individual as grief over the death of a family member. There will be a wide range of variations, some superficial and others very discreet. Do not judge the depth of grief by outward appearances. Respect all expressions of grief. Some individuals will hide their grief out of fear that their behavior will be ridiculed by others. Be sure to involve the children in learning about grief and death through the death of the pet.
6. Keep in mind, especially with older adults who live alone, some companion animals may be the only family a person has. Thus the animal is one of the few or perhaps the only animals from whom mourners have received unconditional love.
7. If other losses preceded the death of a pet, they may make dealing with the death of the animal more difficult. For example, if a pet owner has had to give up driving, has a debilitating illness, has friends moving away, or has experienced the death of a loved one, these or other losses can easily lead to overload. Mourners will especially need a caring and understanding community at this time of transition.
8. Feelings of guilt, anger or depression can be associated with the loss of a pet. Guilt is the most common reaction, especially if the owner had to euthanize the pet, was not present when the pet died, or did not recognize the disease until the later stages.
9. Assistance in creating or proposing a memorial. A photo, toy, or collar can be used as a way to honor or remember the pet. Something belonging to the animal can be wrapped in Lucite or placed on a shelf where it can be seen easily.
Pets no longer play a major, low key role in homes across the country. Instead, they have come to fill the role of companion, support, and old friend. Thus, the death of a pet can become a major grief experience for the young or the elderly alike. Be sensitive to the role the animal played in the family’s life, and you’ll be better equipped to provide the ongoing support and appropriate remembrances that will be very helpful in the months ahead.
